Whoops, I almost forgot our anniversary! This little blog, not so little anymore, is now all of two months old.
Mind a quick update?
Our mission has not changed. We are merely a humble Dom/sub pair who discovered quite by accident how well hypnosis and mind control could enhance her submission and his control. The effects we've been able to achieve -- illusions, sensations, physical changes and memory tricks -- are so ideally suited to BDSM that we want to spread the word among our peers.
What's changed since then?
More than 3,000 visitors have stopped by, from more than 60 countries -- Kazakhstan to Colombia. Our visitors are referred here from all corners of the web -- from early adopters such as DollsRealm, to a flood of new visitors courtesy of Google. Some of our readers visit the site more often than I do!
Our visitors have given us excellent feedback, challenging questions, and some kinky ideas that we've added to our play.
One exciting change, which we reported right here, was the discovery by our friends K and c that they too can achieve deep hypnosis, powerful effects and wide-awake illusions. (The other day, c's body was so convinced that e and I were fisting her holes, yanking her nipples and licking her clit -- we were just chatting in IM -- that she squirted all over and fainted onto the floor.)
The second exciting change is that we've now 'met', interviewed and become friends with the two subconscious minds behind all these effects. Yes, we know just how bizarre that sounds, especially coming from four grownups with science/technical backgrounds. But read the interviews, see what you think.
Partly because of all the changes and news, the 'Our Story' archives (in the right column) has grown very deep. Some wild stuff is hidden in there. Click open January and February, we'll bet there's something there of interest to you.
Where are we going next with all this? Who knows? Come back often, and we'll all find out.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Thursday, March 8, 2007
I Feel Compelled
A few of you have been really interested in my daily routine and how hypnosis and my 'compulsions' fit in. i thought i'd take a bit of time and do my best to oblige. A lot of them have become sort of second nature to me, so i'm going to ask D to make sure i haven't forgotten anything and comment for me if He'd like to.
The first one, and sort of the reason all this hypnosis stuff started, is my timed peeing. Most of you have already heard about this, but i thought i'd elaborate a bit and try to explain some of the feeling behind it.
When we started out, one of the tasks D gave me (pre-hypnosis) was to pee every even-numbered hour and then make myself cum. This was basically, i think, a show of my submission and a test of dedication.
i'm far from perfect and was late a couple of times, which tore me up because i tend to be quite eager to please and very submissive. Making a mistake like this is really painful. We were trying to think of ways to avoid further mistakes, and D suggested trying hypnosis.
Fast forward to now ... and i absolutely can not look at the clock, or even think about the time close to an even hour, without feeling like my bladder is about to burst. It's not a choice anymore, if i don't find a bathroom i will wet myself. While the thought of this makes me blush, it is wonderful to have a reminder every other hour of who i am.
[Note from D: The interesting thing about compulsions is that you don't think much about them. For instance, it's no longer remarkable to e that when she steps into the bathroom she is transformed into a puppy in a park and carries out her duties that way.}
Of course at noon now i pee as a man, which isn't nearly as confusing as one might think. It gives me a great sense of freedom and boldness that i've never really known as a woman, something we're trying to figure out how to capture and use to my advantage.
Something that is fairly new to my schedule is my nightly ritual of obedience to Him. i get all ready for bed, get naked and kneel on the floor beside the bed. He is always sitting there in front of me, in my mind anyway, and that makes me smile. Lying on the floor next to me is a small pile of clothespins. They're not the average wooden type, but plastic with rubber tips. They're made by Rubbermaid if i recall, and have quite a bite to them.
i take a deep breath and place one clothespin after another on my breasts. Each week i increase the number of clothespins by one; tonight there will be 16. Surprisingly i can't feel them at all, there is no pain. i just keep adding clothespins until there are only two left. These last two go on my nipples.
When i attach the last clothespin, there is an unbelievable rush of pain as the bite held back from each one rushes over me all at once. Most nights it takes my breath away for a few seconds, and i really have to fight to keep from crying out. The rush of pain reminds me who i am and who i serve. It hurts, but is also very comforting, perhaps that's something only another sub could understand.
D has a bit of a thing for large insertables and enjoys watching delicate holes being stretched beyond normal capacity, to put it nicely. So, another portion of my nightly ritual is stretching my pussy before bed every night, using progressively larger objects.
When i crawl into bed at night i untie the red leather lace that holds my rings together and lube myself up really well. i then slowly insert whatever object we happen to be using at that time and fuck myself with it for 15-20 minutes or so. At the moment it happens to be a fairly large pillar candle, which was somewhat unthinkable just a little while ago. Eventually i let myself cum, generally very hard, and i drift off to sleep with some very nice dreams.
Sometime in the middle of the night D comes to visit me. It's at a different time each night, but He always manages to sneak into my head. Lately He's been really interested in playing with His RealDoll e. i'm turned into a very realistic but very inanimate sex doll for Him to use as He wishes.
i can always 'feel' Him close to me, feel Him posing His doll in anticipation of using me, but i am completely His object at that point. He uses me and takes His pleasure, and the only thing i can do is lie there and accept whatever He chooses to give me. i can feel a bit of friction, but no pleasure, i know i am being stretched and used, but it's mostly mental. i am coming to really enjoy being His literal toy, so thank you to those of you who encouraged this through your comments!!
Something we haven't written about is Dungeon Time. i'm generally pretty busy during the day, so we were looking for a way to give me a bit of relaxation time -- just 10 minutes where i could relax and let go. Sir has given instructions to my subconscious, and He'll have to elaborate on how He did it because i'm still not really sure.
Almost every day when i'm free and have time to myself, i sit down and hear His voice telling me that it's Dungeon Time. i take off all my clothes and head down into the dungeon.
[Note from D: e no longer think it's remarkable that next to her bed is a door that leads to a flight of stairs that leads to a basement dungeon, all of which materialized for her sometime last fall. The details of this daily use are among the more complex things that I've told her subconscious to memorize and implement.]
Each day there is something new waiting for me, and from what i can gather it seem to rotate on a weekly basis. He is always waiting for me in the dungeon, and we play together. So far i've experienced piercings, wax play, bondage, cages, contortion, suspension, spanking, watersports, flogging, canes, and many other things. It is an amazing break in my day and really focuses and refreshes me.
This seems like a lot when it's all written out, but really it's become second nature and an integral part of my daily life that i think i'd really miss it were any of it to go away.
The first one, and sort of the reason all this hypnosis stuff started, is my timed peeing. Most of you have already heard about this, but i thought i'd elaborate a bit and try to explain some of the feeling behind it.
When we started out, one of the tasks D gave me (pre-hypnosis) was to pee every even-numbered hour and then make myself cum. This was basically, i think, a show of my submission and a test of dedication.
i'm far from perfect and was late a couple of times, which tore me up because i tend to be quite eager to please and very submissive. Making a mistake like this is really painful. We were trying to think of ways to avoid further mistakes, and D suggested trying hypnosis.
Fast forward to now ... and i absolutely can not look at the clock, or even think about the time close to an even hour, without feeling like my bladder is about to burst. It's not a choice anymore, if i don't find a bathroom i will wet myself. While the thought of this makes me blush, it is wonderful to have a reminder every other hour of who i am.
[Note from D: The interesting thing about compulsions is that you don't think much about them. For instance, it's no longer remarkable to e that when she steps into the bathroom she is transformed into a puppy in a park and carries out her duties that way.}
Of course at noon now i pee as a man, which isn't nearly as confusing as one might think. It gives me a great sense of freedom and boldness that i've never really known as a woman, something we're trying to figure out how to capture and use to my advantage.
Something that is fairly new to my schedule is my nightly ritual of obedience to Him. i get all ready for bed, get naked and kneel on the floor beside the bed. He is always sitting there in front of me, in my mind anyway, and that makes me smile. Lying on the floor next to me is a small pile of clothespins. They're not the average wooden type, but plastic with rubber tips. They're made by Rubbermaid if i recall, and have quite a bite to them.
i take a deep breath and place one clothespin after another on my breasts. Each week i increase the number of clothespins by one; tonight there will be 16. Surprisingly i can't feel them at all, there is no pain. i just keep adding clothespins until there are only two left. These last two go on my nipples.
When i attach the last clothespin, there is an unbelievable rush of pain as the bite held back from each one rushes over me all at once. Most nights it takes my breath away for a few seconds, and i really have to fight to keep from crying out. The rush of pain reminds me who i am and who i serve. It hurts, but is also very comforting, perhaps that's something only another sub could understand.
D has a bit of a thing for large insertables and enjoys watching delicate holes being stretched beyond normal capacity, to put it nicely. So, another portion of my nightly ritual is stretching my pussy before bed every night, using progressively larger objects.
When i crawl into bed at night i untie the red leather lace that holds my rings together and lube myself up really well. i then slowly insert whatever object we happen to be using at that time and fuck myself with it for 15-20 minutes or so. At the moment it happens to be a fairly large pillar candle, which was somewhat unthinkable just a little while ago. Eventually i let myself cum, generally very hard, and i drift off to sleep with some very nice dreams.
Sometime in the middle of the night D comes to visit me. It's at a different time each night, but He always manages to sneak into my head. Lately He's been really interested in playing with His RealDoll e. i'm turned into a very realistic but very inanimate sex doll for Him to use as He wishes.
i can always 'feel' Him close to me, feel Him posing His doll in anticipation of using me, but i am completely His object at that point. He uses me and takes His pleasure, and the only thing i can do is lie there and accept whatever He chooses to give me. i can feel a bit of friction, but no pleasure, i know i am being stretched and used, but it's mostly mental. i am coming to really enjoy being His literal toy, so thank you to those of you who encouraged this through your comments!!
Something we haven't written about is Dungeon Time. i'm generally pretty busy during the day, so we were looking for a way to give me a bit of relaxation time -- just 10 minutes where i could relax and let go. Sir has given instructions to my subconscious, and He'll have to elaborate on how He did it because i'm still not really sure.
Almost every day when i'm free and have time to myself, i sit down and hear His voice telling me that it's Dungeon Time. i take off all my clothes and head down into the dungeon.
[Note from D: e no longer think it's remarkable that next to her bed is a door that leads to a flight of stairs that leads to a basement dungeon, all of which materialized for her sometime last fall. The details of this daily use are among the more complex things that I've told her subconscious to memorize and implement.]
Each day there is something new waiting for me, and from what i can gather it seem to rotate on a weekly basis. He is always waiting for me in the dungeon, and we play together. So far i've experienced piercings, wax play, bondage, cages, contortion, suspension, spanking, watersports, flogging, canes, and many other things. It is an amazing break in my day and really focuses and refreshes me.
This seems like a lot when it's all written out, but really it's become second nature and an integral part of my daily life that i think i'd really miss it were any of it to go away.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
The Mind Behind (Part 3)
While e was off on a trip somewhere the other day, I was chatting with her subconscious about something that intrigued me.
"People everywhere wonder about the nature of the subconscious," I said. "It must be interesting to you, to know and not be able to tell them."
"People will find out when they're supposed to ... when they ask the right questions," she said. "Like You, now."
No kidding. I've been asking her, seemingly nonstop, questions about the subconscious and the rest of the mind, ever since I realized that all I needed to do was inquire. And, with my friend K's help, I've been asking the same of his sub c's subconscious.
Together, all six (!) of us have been learning a lot about the varied personalities behind the mind games.
It's based on a sample of two, I realize, but here for now are my findings.
Both c2 and e2 [sorry for the awkward names, we're doing our best here] have been around since infancy and grew up along with the conscious person. Both have slightly better memories, particularly noticeable with early conversations ("I recall Dad singing") and life events.
"I can remember her first ice cream, she's only heard the story," e2 says.
"I remember her first memory vividly," c2 says, "She and her best friend cutting each other's hair at 1.5 years old. She recalls the actual cutting, I remember the conversation."
e was not aware of e2's existence, but c knew about c2 for a few years during childhood, when c2 was her imaginary friend. They chatted out loud to each other (especially while looking in the mirror) discussing things like which dolls to play with and whether to wake up their baby sister. This went on until about age 5, when c made more friends and gradually forgot about her secret friend.
That's not the spooky part. This is: c named her imaginary friend "Megan" and called her that throughout their play. c has since forgotten those days, but c2 didn't; she initially told us that was her name.
But what neither c nor c2 ever knew -- until this week-- was that "Megan" was an early name their parents had intended for c's twin sister, who miscarried. Only K happened to know that name, and he had the difficult task of telling this whole story to c last night. What it means? Who knows.
As c and e grew, their subconsciouses say they were always there inside. "i sense everything and feel everything," c2 says. "i can move with her...sometimes it's like standing behind her ... while being inside her body."
Both young women suffered traumatic experiences. c was raped by a relative, and e endured an abusive boyfriend. Both subconsciouses say they helped to handle the experiences, and they say the incidents caused their personalities to diverge somewhat from their conscious selves. Today, e is more cautious than e2, c is not quite as limitless as c2. But neither believes the incidents "created" them.
As adults, contacts between "front" and "back" have been limited. Both "front" personalities keep things tightly under control and don't let much through. c2 has been able to influence c, sometimes by putting words in her mouth. e2 talks with e during her occasional meditations. ("What language or symbols do you use to talk to her?" "Umm ... English.")
Dreams are interesting. Both e2 and c2 usually sleep when e and c sleep, and share in whatever the conscious person is dreaming. But sometimes, they have dreams of their own, which are projected into the conscious person's sleep as well. "Sometimes my imagination runs away with me," c2 says.
But now that we've "unlocked" them, by processes apparently no more complicated than a standard hypnotic induction, e2 and c2 have taken control of all the "effects" we thought of as hypnotically induced. "It's not so difficult," e2 says.
I've mentioned before that one of my proudest hypnotic effects was to banish e's menstrual cramps. They haven't come back for months now. But if that is something that e2 actually controls, why didn't she do it years ago?
"She never thought of asking," e2 said. "She probably could have, through meditation."
It sounds like a frustrating life, always in the backseat, with the driver mostly unaware of you. But neither expresses that. Both seem satisfied as observer, voyeurs.
c2 says: "I could push myself if need be, into all aspects of her life, but it is draining for her physically and mentally. I get all I want through her. I push her when I want more. I help her through her pain barriers. But i am content to sit back."
e2 agrees, and even when pressed says she doesn't really have any annoyances with e. Except, well, she wouldn't mind more sex.
....
PS: Are you thinking 'multiple personalities'? Before you take that thought too far, check out this extraordinary site I found today, a gathering place for normal, healthy people who happen to embody several persons. Astraea's
"People everywhere wonder about the nature of the subconscious," I said. "It must be interesting to you, to know and not be able to tell them."
"People will find out when they're supposed to ... when they ask the right questions," she said. "Like You, now."
No kidding. I've been asking her, seemingly nonstop, questions about the subconscious and the rest of the mind, ever since I realized that all I needed to do was inquire. And, with my friend K's help, I've been asking the same of his sub c's subconscious.
Together, all six (!) of us have been learning a lot about the varied personalities behind the mind games.
It's based on a sample of two, I realize, but here for now are my findings.
Both c2 and e2 [sorry for the awkward names, we're doing our best here] have been around since infancy and grew up along with the conscious person. Both have slightly better memories, particularly noticeable with early conversations ("I recall Dad singing") and life events.
"I can remember her first ice cream, she's only heard the story," e2 says.
"I remember her first memory vividly," c2 says, "She and her best friend cutting each other's hair at 1.5 years old. She recalls the actual cutting, I remember the conversation."
e was not aware of e2's existence, but c knew about c2 for a few years during childhood, when c2 was her imaginary friend. They chatted out loud to each other (especially while looking in the mirror) discussing things like which dolls to play with and whether to wake up their baby sister. This went on until about age 5, when c made more friends and gradually forgot about her secret friend.
That's not the spooky part. This is: c named her imaginary friend "Megan" and called her that throughout their play. c has since forgotten those days, but c2 didn't; she initially told us that was her name.
But what neither c nor c2 ever knew -- until this week-- was that "Megan" was an early name their parents had intended for c's twin sister, who miscarried. Only K happened to know that name, and he had the difficult task of telling this whole story to c last night. What it means? Who knows.
As c and e grew, their subconsciouses say they were always there inside. "i sense everything and feel everything," c2 says. "i can move with her...sometimes it's like standing behind her ... while being inside her body."
Both young women suffered traumatic experiences. c was raped by a relative, and e endured an abusive boyfriend. Both subconsciouses say they helped to handle the experiences, and they say the incidents caused their personalities to diverge somewhat from their conscious selves. Today, e is more cautious than e2, c is not quite as limitless as c2. But neither believes the incidents "created" them.
As adults, contacts between "front" and "back" have been limited. Both "front" personalities keep things tightly under control and don't let much through. c2 has been able to influence c, sometimes by putting words in her mouth. e2 talks with e during her occasional meditations. ("What language or symbols do you use to talk to her?" "Umm ... English.")
Dreams are interesting. Both e2 and c2 usually sleep when e and c sleep, and share in whatever the conscious person is dreaming. But sometimes, they have dreams of their own, which are projected into the conscious person's sleep as well. "Sometimes my imagination runs away with me," c2 says.
But now that we've "unlocked" them, by processes apparently no more complicated than a standard hypnotic induction, e2 and c2 have taken control of all the "effects" we thought of as hypnotically induced. "It's not so difficult," e2 says.
I've mentioned before that one of my proudest hypnotic effects was to banish e's menstrual cramps. They haven't come back for months now. But if that is something that e2 actually controls, why didn't she do it years ago?
"She never thought of asking," e2 said. "She probably could have, through meditation."
It sounds like a frustrating life, always in the backseat, with the driver mostly unaware of you. But neither expresses that. Both seem satisfied as observer, voyeurs.
c2 says: "I could push myself if need be, into all aspects of her life, but it is draining for her physically and mentally. I get all I want through her. I push her when I want more. I help her through her pain barriers. But i am content to sit back."
e2 agrees, and even when pressed says she doesn't really have any annoyances with e. Except, well, she wouldn't mind more sex.
....
PS: Are you thinking 'multiple personalities'? Before you take that thought too far, check out this extraordinary site I found today, a gathering place for normal, healthy people who happen to embody several persons. Astraea's
Monday, March 5, 2007
The Mind Behind (Part 2)
What do you do when you meet another personality inside your sub? In my case, very little at first.
For one thing, e was clearly nervous about the implications -- of having a powerful subconscious, with no limits, that I was in touch with. And I was in no hurry to rock the boat. I couldn't easily tell if her subconscious was working for me, working for e or was a fully independent agent just waiting for an excuse to leap out in front.
But after a few days, I initiated some short conversations, while e was in trance.
Turns out that "it" was a woman, speaking in a very soft, distant, slow version of e's voice. She didn't have a separate name, she too was e. She seemed quiet, meek and attracted to me. One noticeable trait: She volunteered almost nothing, simply replying to my direct questions, usually with yes or no.
For a few weeks we spoke rarely, and it was usually just some detail clarifying how to make a hypnotic "effect" work as intended. I didn't want any accidents with unintended consequences.
It was my friend K who broke the ice, right after he discovered that he too could hypnotize his slave and partner, c. It turns out that c's subconscious was talking up a storm while in trance. After he gave her needles and a vibe, "you should have heard the filth coming out of her mouth."
What really caught my attention: He said her voice sounded "distant," and in conversation she informed him that she had absolutely no limits. That sounded familiar.
At some point K realized he could make her open her eyes during trance. Now she was a fully walking, talking, sucking version of c, but with an apparently different person inside.
Naturally, I asked to interview her.
Now, this interview was not conducted under sterile academic laboratory conditions. She had just finished (as c) sucking him off, and was now sitting (as c's subconscious) impaled on K's cock in a chair in front of the computer. He made her open her eyes, so she could type... and he reported that she read the answers out loud as she typed them.
The conscious c, whom I've known for years, is a lively, cheerful chat partner, hopping from topic to topic. She likes me a lot and says she craves my approval. I quickly realized that her subconscious (whom I'll call c2 here) was very different.
D: How are you and the conscious c different?
c2: I'm more naughty than her. She can sometimes hide things that i don't want to
hide.
c2: She craves your approval ... i don't really care.
c2: I know what i am.
D: And what are you?
c2: A possession ...
c2: A toy for my husband to use.
c2: An object for use ...
c2: I am his, completely at his disposal, ready to follow any and all instructions.
c2: Another word for what I am is a darkness ... i am her darker, kinkier side.
c2: The side she hides with her friends ...
...
D: if you've been sort of locked inside all this time, how do you make your ideas happen? How do you influence c?
c2: I can present to K at times.
c2: I have influenced her sexually for as long as she can remember.
c2: When c gets horny, i get to send ideas to her, and she then tells them to K who makes them happen.
D: Tell me one of the ideas you've given to K.
c2: i originally suggested his drill.
[K recently attached a soft dildo to a power drill, with exciting results.]
c2: i made c say, "Wonder what it would be like to motorize it, like you see on the internet?"
D: I wonder why she's less naughty than you
c2: Her conscious self was raped at 13 by her [xxx] ... This makes her consciously hold some things back as she doesn't want to feel those feelings again.
D: I'm curious about what parts of c you 'control'. Have you spent years just sitting 'inside' and watching? Or do you get involved in any actions, feelings, emotions, responses.
c2: I feel what she feels ... just not as deeply.
c2: She is similar to me ...
D: I'm puzzled though ... by why you now are able to control, say, her bladder, but you didn't before.
c2: i had no need to. She generally follows the path i want her to ...
c2: Plus i'm not into control in a dominance sense. i prefer to watch ...
No one has tried to find me before ... So now i have to prove I'm here ...
D: Are there other things you've wanted, things besides the freer sex life?
c2: Not really ... i don't want for much, as in life she has all i wanted and i enjoy sharing in that.
D: What is the secret to reaching through to a subconscious, I wonder? Simply relaxing the conscious mind into a trance? Or is there more to it?
c2: K was deliberately looking for me... c let him come find me...
c2: She had to let me through.
c2: Even though she doesnt know this.
D: How do you think she would describe the same thing?
c2: She wouldnt be able to.
D: If a Dom wants to reach through to his sub's subconscious, what is your advice to him, on how best to do that?
c2: The way K accessed me....
c2: However if that is just for me, i dont know.
D: Tell me what you mean. What are the key things he did?
c2: Her body relaxed completely.
c2: Which hasn't happened for a long time...
c2: She gave over the trust to his voice.
c2: i then gave her a little nudge.
c2: And she allowed me through.
c2: Although she will not recall that at all.
c2: It was more giving the trust to him.
c2: Then he addressed me as her subconscious directly
c2: It's weird to be talking to you...i have watched her talk for so long...
D: Well I imagine it's weird to be out front talking to k too.
c2: It's extremely weird, but also fun...he hears my ideas first hand...
c2: i think i prefer being back, though.
c2: i believe im a voyeur.
Interview over, head spinning a bit, I knew I had to ask e's subconscious the same sorts of things. So a few hours later I sent e off to her favorite mode, puppy time, and found her subconscious was quite happy to help.
D: What are the differences between you and e?
e2: She's more careful, cautious ... she worries more, doesn't trust as readily.
e2: I'd be far more likely to pick up a guy in a bar than she would...well....she wouldn't ever.
D: Were you 'locked' inside until I unlocked you?
e2: For the most part, though she occasionally let me out to play
D: When?
e2: Mostly in situations where she was really comfortable and not threatened
D: What parts of her physical life can you control?
e2: Before You ... little bits of everything, but she generally has a pretty tight hold on herself ... so it was always easier when she was tired or overly emotional.
D: How is it that my simply telling you to obey me gave you control over so much of her?
e2: Because she likes You ... she let You in.
D: Did you have a say in any of this?
e2: Of course.
D: So you wanted to obey me?
e2: I like You too ...
e2: I would have protected her if i thought You meant to harm her.
D: If a Dom wants to reach his sub's subconscious, what should he do?
e2: i don't know for everyone .. but i think Your instructions seemed pretty good.
e2: i think the sub would have to be ready for it. Otherwise they won't open up
D: so both the sub and the subconscious have to agree?
e2: i would think so, but if the sub is truly willing to submit on a deep level to her Dom, it shouldn't be a problem.
That's what these two subconsciouses had to say about BDSM and related subjects. They had much more to say about their lives and roles, wishes and dreams. I'll get it up here as soon as I can.
[Note to the curious: These transcripts are tidied up IM logs. I've regrouped and tightened for sense, but no actual words or sentences have been changed.]
For one thing, e was clearly nervous about the implications -- of having a powerful subconscious, with no limits, that I was in touch with. And I was in no hurry to rock the boat. I couldn't easily tell if her subconscious was working for me, working for e or was a fully independent agent just waiting for an excuse to leap out in front.
But after a few days, I initiated some short conversations, while e was in trance.
Turns out that "it" was a woman, speaking in a very soft, distant, slow version of e's voice. She didn't have a separate name, she too was e. She seemed quiet, meek and attracted to me. One noticeable trait: She volunteered almost nothing, simply replying to my direct questions, usually with yes or no.
For a few weeks we spoke rarely, and it was usually just some detail clarifying how to make a hypnotic "effect" work as intended. I didn't want any accidents with unintended consequences.
It was my friend K who broke the ice, right after he discovered that he too could hypnotize his slave and partner, c. It turns out that c's subconscious was talking up a storm while in trance. After he gave her needles and a vibe, "you should have heard the filth coming out of her mouth."
What really caught my attention: He said her voice sounded "distant," and in conversation she informed him that she had absolutely no limits. That sounded familiar.
At some point K realized he could make her open her eyes during trance. Now she was a fully walking, talking, sucking version of c, but with an apparently different person inside.
Naturally, I asked to interview her.
Now, this interview was not conducted under sterile academic laboratory conditions. She had just finished (as c) sucking him off, and was now sitting (as c's subconscious) impaled on K's cock in a chair in front of the computer. He made her open her eyes, so she could type... and he reported that she read the answers out loud as she typed them.
The conscious c, whom I've known for years, is a lively, cheerful chat partner, hopping from topic to topic. She likes me a lot and says she craves my approval. I quickly realized that her subconscious (whom I'll call c2 here) was very different.
D: How are you and the conscious c different?
c2: I'm more naughty than her. She can sometimes hide things that i don't want to
hide.
c2: She craves your approval ... i don't really care.
c2: I know what i am.
D: And what are you?
c2: A possession ...
c2: A toy for my husband to use.
c2: An object for use ...
c2: I am his, completely at his disposal, ready to follow any and all instructions.
c2: Another word for what I am is a darkness ... i am her darker, kinkier side.
c2: The side she hides with her friends ...
...
D: if you've been sort of locked inside all this time, how do you make your ideas happen? How do you influence c?
c2: I can present to K at times.
c2: I have influenced her sexually for as long as she can remember.
c2: When c gets horny, i get to send ideas to her, and she then tells them to K who makes them happen.
D: Tell me one of the ideas you've given to K.
c2: i originally suggested his drill.
[K recently attached a soft dildo to a power drill, with exciting results.]
c2: i made c say, "Wonder what it would be like to motorize it, like you see on the internet?"
D: I wonder why she's less naughty than you
c2: Her conscious self was raped at 13 by her [xxx] ... This makes her consciously hold some things back as she doesn't want to feel those feelings again.
D: I'm curious about what parts of c you 'control'. Have you spent years just sitting 'inside' and watching? Or do you get involved in any actions, feelings, emotions, responses.
c2: I feel what she feels ... just not as deeply.
c2: She is similar to me ...
D: I'm puzzled though ... by why you now are able to control, say, her bladder, but you didn't before.
c2: i had no need to. She generally follows the path i want her to ...
c2: Plus i'm not into control in a dominance sense. i prefer to watch ...
No one has tried to find me before ... So now i have to prove I'm here ...
D: Are there other things you've wanted, things besides the freer sex life?
c2: Not really ... i don't want for much, as in life she has all i wanted and i enjoy sharing in that.
D: What is the secret to reaching through to a subconscious, I wonder? Simply relaxing the conscious mind into a trance? Or is there more to it?
c2: K was deliberately looking for me... c let him come find me...
c2: She had to let me through.
c2: Even though she doesnt know this.
D: How do you think she would describe the same thing?
c2: She wouldnt be able to.
D: If a Dom wants to reach through to his sub's subconscious, what is your advice to him, on how best to do that?
c2: The way K accessed me....
c2: However if that is just for me, i dont know.
D: Tell me what you mean. What are the key things he did?
c2: Her body relaxed completely.
c2: Which hasn't happened for a long time...
c2: She gave over the trust to his voice.
c2: i then gave her a little nudge.
c2: And she allowed me through.
c2: Although she will not recall that at all.
c2: It was more giving the trust to him.
c2: Then he addressed me as her subconscious directly
c2: It's weird to be talking to you...i have watched her talk for so long...
D: Well I imagine it's weird to be out front talking to k too.
c2: It's extremely weird, but also fun...he hears my ideas first hand...
c2: i think i prefer being back, though.
c2: i believe im a voyeur.
Interview over, head spinning a bit, I knew I had to ask e's subconscious the same sorts of things. So a few hours later I sent e off to her favorite mode, puppy time, and found her subconscious was quite happy to help.
D: What are the differences between you and e?
e2: She's more careful, cautious ... she worries more, doesn't trust as readily.
e2: I'd be far more likely to pick up a guy in a bar than she would...well....she wouldn't ever.
D: Were you 'locked' inside until I unlocked you?
e2: For the most part, though she occasionally let me out to play
D: When?
e2: Mostly in situations where she was really comfortable and not threatened
D: What parts of her physical life can you control?
e2: Before You ... little bits of everything, but she generally has a pretty tight hold on herself ... so it was always easier when she was tired or overly emotional.
D: How is it that my simply telling you to obey me gave you control over so much of her?
e2: Because she likes You ... she let You in.
D: Did you have a say in any of this?
e2: Of course.
D: So you wanted to obey me?
e2: I like You too ...
e2: I would have protected her if i thought You meant to harm her.
D: If a Dom wants to reach his sub's subconscious, what should he do?
e2: i don't know for everyone .. but i think Your instructions seemed pretty good.
e2: i think the sub would have to be ready for it. Otherwise they won't open up
D: so both the sub and the subconscious have to agree?
e2: i would think so, but if the sub is truly willing to submit on a deep level to her Dom, it shouldn't be a problem.
That's what these two subconsciouses had to say about BDSM and related subjects. They had much more to say about their lives and roles, wishes and dreams. I'll get it up here as soon as I can.
[Note to the curious: These transcripts are tidied up IM logs. I've regrouped and tightened for sense, but no actual words or sentences have been changed.]
The Mind Behind (Part 1)
Folks, we know that our reports sometimes sound unbelievable or at least stretched. We appreciate you trusting that we're doing our best to describe exactly what we're doing and experiencing.
So ... I need to beg your further indulgence. It's about to get even stranger.
We haven't posted much in the past couple of days because e and I -- and our friends K and c -- have found ourselves exploring some unexpectedly deep corners of the mind. We've delved into areas I didn't even know existed.
OK, I was a Boy Scout once, and I'm holding up my right hand in the proper salute as I promise you this: I've just interviewed two subconsciouses. By voice, by IM.
I've heard directly from the alter egos of e and of c, who until a few weeks ago had spent most of their lives locked 'inside' and unreachable. Hypnotic trance brought them out to speak for the first time.
They both had remarkably similar things to say about their roles, their lives, what they control, what they remember and what they crave. Meanwhile, the conscious e and c are almost entirely in the dark about these conversations; still today they know only what we've told them.
What these two submissive women's subconsciouses have said has implications for anyone thinking of gaining hypnotic control over such a woman. That happens to be the narrow focus of this blog. But I suspect that their messages have wider meaning too, for anyone interested in the mind and its mysteries.
But before we cue the spooky music, I want to tell you how we got to this stage. It's too big a jump from "Let's see if I can hypnotize you" to "Um, I have a message from your secret twin."
***
As you know if you've been reading along (or have clicked some of the earlier links at right), e and I have been gradually exploring all these wild hypnotic effects, which she has responded to quite effortlessly, almost from day one.
While I may be in charge, I'm not magic. I know it's some part of her mind, under my direction, that is actually delivering all these amazing effects.
* Keeping track of her hypno body modifications, so that every time e looks in the mirror she sees her collar, or every time she rolls over in bed she hears her slave bells.
* Remembering to replace Sinatra's voice with mine whenever e turns on the car radio.
* Blocking that extremely embarrassing memory for as many hours or days as I want.
* Weaving extremely authentic settings (beaches, amusement parks, rainforests, dungeons, yachts) for various play scenes.
* Keeping track, over months, of a dozen or so "triggers," shorthand terms that I've given to fairly elaborate scenes.
That's pretty impressive work. Over time, I began to picture this second entity inside her, acting as my agent, acting as my co-conspirator.
I started directing little asides to it, saying thanks. It didn't reply.
Then one time, when an erotic effect and a phone call from e's mother coincided, nearly causing mayhem, it occurred to me to wonder if we were playing with a proper net. We had the usual BDSM limits all listed, but I wondered if we were insured against indirect, accidental damages.
After all, I realized, I could make e forget the name of her employer. Bad. Or strip in front of her boss. Rarely a good thing. I could make her orgasm in front of friends and family. She'd never get over it.
Now, there's no way that these are behaviors she'd ordinarily tolerate. She's as proper and successful and respected as anyone you know.
So a few weeks ago I finally got around to asking the "hidden observer" the obvious question:
D: Will you follow all my orders, regardless of consequences?
e: yes
I switched back to the conscious e:
D: ok i have news.
e: oh?
D: you'll follow all my orders, regardless of consequences.
e: ohhh no *blush*
In other words, whatever this entity was, it was not e. No mention of our agreed limits. No hesitation about following me off a cliff. And it had the power to carry out any order.
So ... I need to beg your further indulgence. It's about to get even stranger.
We haven't posted much in the past couple of days because e and I -- and our friends K and c -- have found ourselves exploring some unexpectedly deep corners of the mind. We've delved into areas I didn't even know existed.
OK, I was a Boy Scout once, and I'm holding up my right hand in the proper salute as I promise you this: I've just interviewed two subconsciouses. By voice, by IM.
I've heard directly from the alter egos of e and of c, who until a few weeks ago had spent most of their lives locked 'inside' and unreachable. Hypnotic trance brought them out to speak for the first time.
They both had remarkably similar things to say about their roles, their lives, what they control, what they remember and what they crave. Meanwhile, the conscious e and c are almost entirely in the dark about these conversations; still today they know only what we've told them.
What these two submissive women's subconsciouses have said has implications for anyone thinking of gaining hypnotic control over such a woman. That happens to be the narrow focus of this blog. But I suspect that their messages have wider meaning too, for anyone interested in the mind and its mysteries.
But before we cue the spooky music, I want to tell you how we got to this stage. It's too big a jump from "Let's see if I can hypnotize you" to "Um, I have a message from your secret twin."
***
As you know if you've been reading along (or have clicked some of the earlier links at right), e and I have been gradually exploring all these wild hypnotic effects, which she has responded to quite effortlessly, almost from day one.
While I may be in charge, I'm not magic. I know it's some part of her mind, under my direction, that is actually delivering all these amazing effects.
* Keeping track of her hypno body modifications, so that every time e looks in the mirror she sees her collar, or every time she rolls over in bed she hears her slave bells.
* Remembering to replace Sinatra's voice with mine whenever e turns on the car radio.
* Blocking that extremely embarrassing memory for as many hours or days as I want.
* Weaving extremely authentic settings (beaches, amusement parks, rainforests, dungeons, yachts) for various play scenes.
* Keeping track, over months, of a dozen or so "triggers," shorthand terms that I've given to fairly elaborate scenes.
That's pretty impressive work. Over time, I began to picture this second entity inside her, acting as my agent, acting as my co-conspirator.
I started directing little asides to it, saying thanks. It didn't reply.
Then one time, when an erotic effect and a phone call from e's mother coincided, nearly causing mayhem, it occurred to me to wonder if we were playing with a proper net. We had the usual BDSM limits all listed, but I wondered if we were insured against indirect, accidental damages.
After all, I realized, I could make e forget the name of her employer. Bad. Or strip in front of her boss. Rarely a good thing. I could make her orgasm in front of friends and family. She'd never get over it.
Now, there's no way that these are behaviors she'd ordinarily tolerate. She's as proper and successful and respected as anyone you know.
So a few weeks ago I finally got around to asking the "hidden observer" the obvious question:
D: Will you follow all my orders, regardless of consequences?
e: yes
I switched back to the conscious e:
D: ok i have news.
e: oh?
D: you'll follow all my orders, regardless of consequences.
e: ohhh no *blush*
In other words, whatever this entity was, it was not e. No mention of our agreed limits. No hesitation about following me off a cliff. And it had the power to carry out any order.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
My Life As A Dog
There have been some great comments about sense of "self" and giving up control in regards to hypnosis so i thought i would try to delve a little deeper into what i get out of it and perhaps give some specific examples.
i've been discussing this with Sir lately, trying to get a better idea of what is actually going on. i know that i definitely don't lose myself when He puts me into trance, in fact i feel more myself since we started delving into hypnosis. i think the key here is that going that deeply into trance actually allows me to focus in on certain areas of my personality without having to worry about anything else.
My life is fairly hectic on a daily basis, with a lot of people and things needing my time and attention. Often i feel more 'lost' in my regular life than when He has me deep in some interesting situation, using hypnosis to in essence block out the 'noise' of the rest of my life.
One really good example of this would be puppy time. Sir makes me His puppy, curled up at His feet. At that moment.....i am a puppy...there is no telephone, no laundry or dishes, no bills or other distractions. All that exists is devotion, cuddles, love, warmth and the happiness of being at His feet.
As a puppy i can focus totally on Him with the loyalty and love of a pet. i relax and am totally at peace, thinking of nothing more than cuddling or perhaps occasionally playing with my little red squeaky ball in the park. This is one of the most relaxing places i have ever known and i always come back a little 'dreamy' as Sir says, and feeling very very refreshed and happy.
This is such a special place for me that most of the time when i pee now it’s as a puppy in the park. i know, sitting here right now, than when i actually go into the bathroom i do sit down like a woman on the toilet, but it is so real that i would swear i’m squatting in the middle of a park. Sometimes there are other puppies around with their owners, and occasionally Sir is holding onto my leash.
It’s very freeing to pee outside like that, with only the slightest hint of embarrassment if someone happens to be watching. It’s only even unpleasant if it’s raining out, but luckily my subconscious doesn’t seem to like the rain so that doesn’t happen often.
Another example of this kind of focus is something new that we've been working with. Lately Sir has been turning me into a RealDoll at night. This is objectification in the best and most complete sense of the word. i become nothing more than an object for His pleasure, to be posed, turned, bent over and used any way He wishes.
Being objectified in this way is extremely arousing for me and focuses the part of my personality that is deeply into service. i know that i'm being used, that He is there with me. i can 'feel' that i am being penetrated in the most minute way but there is no physical pleasure at all. Mostly what i feel is pressure, the sense that my 'skin' is being moved. It is absolutely amazing, relaxing, and incredibly arousing mentally.
Recently Sir has turned me into a man when i pee at noon. i've been completely a man, not a woman in a man's body...it actually feels very normal. This has been a very enlightening experience. Aside from having all new equipment to play with, i'm also getting a new perspective on myself. i'm finding that in that male role there is a definite feeling of boldness, of openness that i don't always feel as a woman.
Obviously those feelings have always been inside me, but we're realizing now that they may be readily accessible for me to call upon when i may need them. This is something that we're still trying to figure out, but i'm sure we can let you know how it goes in a future post. i think it could be really useful when dealing with difficult situations, or telemarketers!
Doing It (Part 3)
Here's the third phase of instructions you can use for hypnosis. All the caveats from the first part apply here as well.
OK, you have just brought your sub into deep trance, and we'll assume it's for the first time ever.
You'll be tempted to immediately act out your favorite sex puppet fantasy, but I recommend that you use this first trance for some important setup work. Install two simple instructions, one at a time. For each of them, tell her that after she awakes, her conscious mind won't remember or even hear the instruction when it's given, but that she will obey it without hesitation or thought. It's a good idea to slowly repeat each instruction a couple of times.
The first instruction is an "anchor" that you plant right here, so you can bring her back to full trance whenever you need to. For instance, tell her that whenever you touch her forehead, or say "sleep," she will immediately return here.
The second instruction is designed to be a "convincer" for after she wakes up the first time, to show her immediately the power of her own mind, in a non-threatening way. A classic is to have her hand float up and stick to her forehead, but you can improvise here.
End this first trance (she'll be back here in a minute) by repeating the instructions, telling her she'll be refreshed and alert when she wakes up, but pointing out that her hand should stay glued to her forehead. Then wake her up gently with "at the count of three" or whatever.
When she wakes she will stretch, smile, say that was nice, and then notice her hand. Tell her to try to remove it... She probably won't be able to. Point out how this demonstrates the potential of her subconscious to control her body. Be kind, not gleeful. Tell her that you'll put her arm back to normal by putting her back into a trance. Then before the conversation goes on much longer, invoke the trigger to take her there.
(Few things are as hot as watching a sub collapse into trance at the sound of a single word.)
Repeated wake/trance cycles seem to help the mind practice this dive, getting better at it each time. It's a good idea to reinforce it with a few gentle words reminding her of the great relaxation here and how her conscious mind is busy elsewhere.
But you're probably eager to get on with interesting effects, so while she's here in the second trance let's install some.
* Some commands are meant to be scenes right here, in trance. She will act them out as though experiencing the illusions ("you're a hungry kitten"), but may not remember them when she wakes later.
* Other commands are meant to be "post hypnotic" triggers, meaning they take effect after she wakes up. Things like "after you awake, every time you hear your name, you'll laugh" fit this category.
* My favorite is the global trigger. Install it like this: "After you're awake, whenever you hear me say 'ocelot', whatever order immediately follows, you are to obey it without hesitation." As with the others, she should be told that her conscious mind won't even record the orders she hears; she will simply obey. The benefit is that you don't need to put her back into trance every time you have a clever idea.
Look through our other postings to get an idea of the kinds of instructions you can use -- altering sensations, behavior, memory, even gender.
Keep all these things simple and clear. You're addressing her subconscious, and you don't yet know how well it memorizes instructions, which senses it has the most control over, or how willing it is to obey.
Whatever instructions you install, remember to install a way to reverse them!
Now, give a final run-through of all instructions, tell her that her conscious mind will have no memory of the trance, and tell her to wake up fully alert on the count of three.
....
Are the instructions useful? We know that hundreds of people are reading this page; give us a Comment.
OK, you have just brought your sub into deep trance, and we'll assume it's for the first time ever.
You'll be tempted to immediately act out your favorite sex puppet fantasy, but I recommend that you use this first trance for some important setup work. Install two simple instructions, one at a time. For each of them, tell her that after she awakes, her conscious mind won't remember or even hear the instruction when it's given, but that she will obey it without hesitation or thought. It's a good idea to slowly repeat each instruction a couple of times.
The first instruction is an "anchor" that you plant right here, so you can bring her back to full trance whenever you need to. For instance, tell her that whenever you touch her forehead, or say "sleep," she will immediately return here.
The second instruction is designed to be a "convincer" for after she wakes up the first time, to show her immediately the power of her own mind, in a non-threatening way. A classic is to have her hand float up and stick to her forehead, but you can improvise here.
End this first trance (she'll be back here in a minute) by repeating the instructions, telling her she'll be refreshed and alert when she wakes up, but pointing out that her hand should stay glued to her forehead. Then wake her up gently with "at the count of three" or whatever.
When she wakes she will stretch, smile, say that was nice, and then notice her hand. Tell her to try to remove it... She probably won't be able to. Point out how this demonstrates the potential of her subconscious to control her body. Be kind, not gleeful. Tell her that you'll put her arm back to normal by putting her back into a trance. Then before the conversation goes on much longer, invoke the trigger to take her there.
(Few things are as hot as watching a sub collapse into trance at the sound of a single word.)
Repeated wake/trance cycles seem to help the mind practice this dive, getting better at it each time. It's a good idea to reinforce it with a few gentle words reminding her of the great relaxation here and how her conscious mind is busy elsewhere.
But you're probably eager to get on with interesting effects, so while she's here in the second trance let's install some.
* Some commands are meant to be scenes right here, in trance. She will act them out as though experiencing the illusions ("you're a hungry kitten"), but may not remember them when she wakes later.
* Other commands are meant to be "post hypnotic" triggers, meaning they take effect after she wakes up. Things like "after you awake, every time you hear your name, you'll laugh" fit this category.
* My favorite is the global trigger. Install it like this: "After you're awake, whenever you hear me say 'ocelot', whatever order immediately follows, you are to obey it without hesitation." As with the others, she should be told that her conscious mind won't even record the orders she hears; she will simply obey. The benefit is that you don't need to put her back into trance every time you have a clever idea.
Look through our other postings to get an idea of the kinds of instructions you can use -- altering sensations, behavior, memory, even gender.
Keep all these things simple and clear. You're addressing her subconscious, and you don't yet know how well it memorizes instructions, which senses it has the most control over, or how willing it is to obey.
Whatever instructions you install, remember to install a way to reverse them!
Now, give a final run-through of all instructions, tell her that her conscious mind will have no memory of the trance, and tell her to wake up fully alert on the count of three.
....
Are the instructions useful? We know that hundreds of people are reading this page; give us a Comment.
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