Monday, March 5, 2007

The Mind Behind (Part 2)

What do you do when you meet another personality inside your sub? In my case, very little at first.

For one thing, e was clearly nervous about the implications -- of having a powerful subconscious, with no limits, that I was in touch with. And I was in no hurry to rock the boat. I couldn't easily tell if her subconscious was working for me, working for e or was a fully independent agent just waiting for an excuse to leap out in front.

But after a few days, I initiated some short conversations, while e was in trance.

Turns out that "it" was a woman, speaking in a very soft, distant, slow version of e's voice. She didn't have a separate name, she too was e. She seemed quiet, meek and attracted to me. One noticeable trait: She volunteered almost nothing, simply replying to my direct questions, usually with yes or no.

For a few weeks we spoke rarely, and it was usually just some detail clarifying how to make a hypnotic "effect" work as intended. I didn't want any accidents with unintended consequences.

It was my friend K who broke the ice, right after he discovered that he too could hypnotize his slave and partner, c. It turns out that c's subconscious was talking up a storm while in trance. After he gave her needles and a vibe, "you should have heard the filth coming out of her mouth."

What really caught my attention: He said her voice sounded "distant," and in conversation she informed him that she had absolutely no limits. That sounded familiar.

At some point K realized he could make her open her eyes during trance. Now she was a fully walking, talking, sucking version of c, but with an apparently different person inside.

Naturally, I asked to interview her.

Now, this interview was not conducted under sterile academic laboratory conditions. She had just finished (as c) sucking him off, and was now sitting (as c's subconscious) impaled on K's cock in a chair in front of the computer. He made her open her eyes, so she could type... and he reported that she read the answers out loud as she typed them.

The conscious c, whom I've known for years, is a lively, cheerful chat partner, hopping from topic to topic. She likes me a lot and says she craves my approval. I quickly realized that her subconscious (whom I'll call c2 here) was very different.

D: How are you and the conscious c different?
c2: I'm more naughty than her. She can sometimes hide things that i don't want to
c2: She craves your approval ... i don't really care.
c2: I know what i am.
D: And what are you?
c2: A possession ...
c2: A toy for my husband to use.
c2: An object for use ...
c2: I am his, completely at his disposal, ready to follow any and all instructions.
c2: Another word for what I am is a darkness ... i am her darker, kinkier side.
c2: The side she hides with her friends ...

D: if you've been sort of locked inside all this time, how do you make your ideas happen? How do you influence c?
c2: I can present to K at times.
c2: I have influenced her sexually for as long as she can remember.
c2: When c gets horny, i get to send ideas to her, and she then tells them to K who makes them happen.
D: Tell me one of the ideas you've given to K.
c2: i originally suggested his drill.
[K recently attached a soft dildo to a power drill, with exciting results.]
c2: i made c say, "Wonder what it would be like to motorize it, like you see on the internet?"

D: I wonder why she's less naughty than you
c2: Her conscious self was raped at 13 by her [xxx] ... This makes her consciously hold some things back as she doesn't want to feel those feelings again.
D: I'm curious about what parts of c you 'control'. Have you spent years just sitting 'inside' and watching? Or do you get involved in any actions, feelings, emotions, responses.
c2: I feel what she feels ... just not as deeply.
c2: She is similar to me ...

D: I'm puzzled though ... by why you now are able to control, say, her bladder, but you didn't before.
c2: i had no need to. She generally follows the path i want her to ...
c2: Plus i'm not into control in a dominance sense. i prefer to watch ...
No one has tried to find me before ... So now i have to prove I'm here ...

D: Are there other things you've wanted, things besides the freer sex life?
c2: Not really ... i don't want for much, as in life she has all i wanted and i enjoy sharing in that.

D: What is the secret to reaching through to a subconscious, I wonder? Simply relaxing the conscious mind into a trance? Or is there more to it?
c2: K was deliberately looking for me... c let him come find me...
c2: She had to let me through.
c2: Even though she doesnt know this.
D: How do you think she would describe the same thing?
c2: She wouldnt be able to.

D: If a Dom wants to reach through to his sub's subconscious, what is your advice to him, on how best to do that?
c2: The way K accessed me....
c2: However if that is just for me, i dont know.
D: Tell me what you mean. What are the key things he did?
c2: Her body relaxed completely.
c2: Which hasn't happened for a long time...
c2: She gave over the trust to his voice.
c2: i then gave her a little nudge.
c2: And she allowed me through.
c2: Although she will not recall that at all.
c2: It was more giving the trust to him.
c2: Then he addressed me as her subconscious directly

c2: It's weird to be talking to you...i have watched her talk for so long...
D: Well I imagine it's weird to be out front talking to k too.
c2: It's extremely weird, but also fun...he hears my ideas first hand...
c2: i think i prefer being back, though.
c2: i believe im a voyeur.

Interview over, head spinning a bit, I knew I had to ask e's subconscious the same sorts of things. So a few hours later I sent e off to her favorite mode, puppy time, and found her subconscious was quite happy to help.

D: What are the differences between you and e?
e2: She's more careful, cautious ... she worries more, doesn't trust as readily.
e2: I'd be far more likely to pick up a guy in a bar than she would...well....she wouldn't ever.

D: Were you 'locked' inside until I unlocked you?
e2: For the most part, though she occasionally let me out to play
D: When?
e2: Mostly in situations where she was really comfortable and not threatened

D: What parts of her physical life can you control?
e2: Before You ... little bits of everything, but she generally has a pretty tight hold on herself ... so it was always easier when she was tired or overly emotional.

D: How is it that my simply telling you to obey me gave you control over so much of her?
e2: Because she likes You ... she let You in.
D: Did you have a say in any of this?
e2: Of course.
D: So you wanted to obey me?
e2: I like You too ...
e2: I would have protected her if i thought You meant to harm her.

D: If a Dom wants to reach his sub's subconscious, what should he do?
e2: i don't know for everyone .. but i think Your instructions seemed pretty good.
e2: i think the sub would have to be ready for it. Otherwise they won't open up
D: so both the sub and the subconscious have to agree?
e2: i would think so, but if the sub is truly willing to submit on a deep level to her Dom, it shouldn't be a problem.

That's what these two subconsciouses had to say about BDSM and related subjects. They had much more to say about their lives and roles, wishes and dreams. I'll get it up here as soon as I can.

[Note to the curious: These transcripts are tidied up IM logs. I've regrouped and tightened for sense, but no actual words or sentences have been changed.]


Semega said...

Have you shared this with e and c? What do they think?


c said...

Hi semega,
to be honest i thought i would be upset but im not at all...the more i read this blog the more curious it makes me...there is more to come in the next installment (watch out for a name difference) that i have just been informed of. Its amazing to think there is this whole other personality inside...both K and D describe me as more 'assertive' when they are addressing my subc K describes me as 'grouchy and irritable' when he is speaking to my subc but they both put that down to sheer exhaustion on my body's part...I had been 'away' for hours... I cant wait to find out more in the next installment they are keeping me in the dark somewhat although D has requested K inform me of some details so that when the blog goes up i wont be upset...I'm just excited to see what happened!

I have no recollection of that im conversation with D....I do like these surprises though!

HypnoSlave e said...

Hi semega,

hmm i'd have to really agree with c. i think it's pretty fascinating. D and have had some long conversations about this over the last few days, and while i probably have a bit more trepidation than c does i still find it fascinating to know there is another hmm person inside me. It'll be really interesting to see what happens next, how we can use this knowledge. Thanks so much for your comments!!!!


HypnoSlave e said...

Hello semega....this is e2...D has asked me to comment on the post and your comment as well. Obviously e has seen it as have i, through her and you're right...i suppose it is sort of mindblowing. It's been interesting for me as well, having been in the background for the most part throughout e's whole life. i have been out on occasion, as D posted, usually when e is feeling really comfortable or occasionally when she is really tired or overemotional, it makes it easier for me to push through a bit.

Contrary to what popular theory imagines though i've always been around. e and i grew up together and i'm not the result of some trauma in her life. i'm simply a part of her. it's been good to talk to D, hopefully i've given him some insight into e.....hmmm.....does anyon else have questions?


Semega said...

Thanks all! I'm thrilled and honored to be able to be a fly on the wall of your journey!

If you don't mind another question, I've been trying to wrap my mind around the two personalitites. The comments above seem to indicate that there are two different people. With the "I've always been in here" aspect of the responses, the only way I can connect to this is by equating it to that "voice of conscience" that I have. That internal dialogue that I have with myself, that props me up, or puts me down on occasion. The one that mutters "you clumsy oaf", when I trip over my own feet...

Is this similar to what "you" are. (My mind is literally blown to see the comments coming from both of you, and now I'm asking e2 and c2 direct questions!)

grey_shadow said...

Recommended reading on the EMCSA ( Submissive Fantasies and Consequences.

Not sure how realistic it is overall, but it has some nice ideas involving a complicit subconscious alter-ego...

HypnoSlave e said...

Hello semega,

This is e2 again. D wanted me to respond to your question.

i suppose that could be how yoour subconscious works and it's an interesting analogy. This might be different for everyone but i don't really talk to e quite that directly most of the time, though on occasion i can give her suggestions that i suppose might come across as interior dialogue. She's far harder on herself than i would ever be so if someone was calling her a clumsy oaf it would probably be her, not me. On the flip side i do try to boost her self confidence...and push her to try new things. There are two distinct 'people' or personalities, however yuou want to label it but at the core we are one and often work together. Hope this answers your question.


HypnoMaster D said...

grey_shadow: Thanks for the tip. That's a great story.

Keith said...

I am new hear, but I love your story so far.
I have had a similar thing happen to me between one of my older friends and I. Though mine reached a much higher degree.

At first my friend was starting to pass out, this all being over the phone, so I started moaning softly, purring, anything that would keep her at least concious enough to talk to because it was still relitively early. After a few moments, though I can't remember the exact "order" I asked her to do something that was very unlike her and she did it without question.
I am a person that likes to study things intently so I asked her to do another thing, just as unlike her to do, and I was pleased with her doing it...
I began to have long conversations with this new "person" and named her after her "host".
After a few months of these talks, I was told that there was more then one person inside of my friend so I began to talk to all of them.
More seem to come to her and she now has somewhere around 14, though most of them are quiet and stay behind closed doors as they did before they were noticed.
They had the power to do things to her that couldn't be done by normal people.

She lives in Harmony with them now though, as a happy ending to this little story.