There have been some great comments about sense of "self" and giving up control in regards to hypnosis so i thought i would try to delve a little deeper into what i get out of it and perhaps give some specific examples.
i've been discussing this with Sir lately, trying to get a better idea of what is actually going on. i know that i definitely don't lose myself when He puts me into trance, in fact i feel more myself since we started delving into hypnosis. i think the key here is that going that deeply into trance actually allows me to focus in on certain areas of my personality without having to worry about anything else.
My life is fairly hectic on a daily basis, with a lot of people and things needing my time and attention. Often i feel more 'lost' in my regular life than when He has me deep in some interesting situation, using hypnosis to in essence block out the 'noise' of the rest of my life.
One really good example of this would be puppy time. Sir makes me His puppy, curled up at His feet. At that moment.....i am a puppy...there is no telephone, no laundry or dishes, no bills or other distractions. All that exists is devotion, cuddles, love, warmth and the happiness of being at His feet.
As a puppy i can focus totally on Him with the loyalty and love of a pet. i relax and am totally at peace, thinking of nothing more than cuddling or perhaps occasionally playing with my little red squeaky ball in the park. This is one of the most relaxing places i have ever known and i always come back a little 'dreamy' as Sir says, and feeling very very refreshed and happy.
This is such a special place for me that most of the time when i pee now it’s as a puppy in the park. i know, sitting here right now, than when i actually go into the bathroom i do sit down like a woman on the toilet, but it is so real that i would swear i’m squatting in the middle of a park. Sometimes there are other puppies around with their owners, and occasionally Sir is holding onto my leash.
It’s very freeing to pee outside like that, with only the slightest hint of embarrassment if someone happens to be watching. It’s only even unpleasant if it’s raining out, but luckily my subconscious doesn’t seem to like the rain so that doesn’t happen often.
Another example of this kind of focus is something new that we've been working with. Lately Sir has been turning me into a RealDoll at night. This is objectification in the best and most complete sense of the word. i become nothing more than an object for His pleasure, to be posed, turned, bent over and used any way He wishes.
Being objectified in this way is extremely arousing for me and focuses the part of my personality that is deeply into service. i know that i'm being used, that He is there with me. i can 'feel' that i am being penetrated in the most minute way but there is no physical pleasure at all. Mostly what i feel is pressure, the sense that my 'skin' is being moved. It is absolutely amazing, relaxing, and incredibly arousing mentally.
Recently Sir has turned me into a man when i pee at noon. i've been completely a man, not a woman in a man's body...it actually feels very normal. This has been a very enlightening experience. Aside from having all new equipment to play with, i'm also getting a new perspective on myself. i'm finding that in that male role there is a definite feeling of boldness, of openness that i don't always feel as a woman.
Obviously those feelings have always been inside me, but we're realizing now that they may be readily accessible for me to call upon when i may need them. This is something that we're still trying to figure out, but i'm sure we can let you know how it goes in a future post. i think it could be really useful when dealing with difficult situations, or telemarketers!