Saturday, March 24, 2007


Let's talk about "limits". If you're into BDSM, you've probably spent a lot of time discussing them, probably early in a relationship. You've probably filled out one of those "lists". And with any luck, you and your partner have a sane, solid agreement on where the lines are drawn.

So what happens when it turns out that a sub's subconscious, hypnotically conditioned to obey the dom, may be playing by different rules?

In our case, e has a few hard limits. Back when we both thought this was something mediated entirely by her conscious self, she said: no extreme pain, blood, needles, scat or full confinement (severe claustrophobia). I was perfectly fine with all of those, although I'm working with her on her claustrophobia and have done some illusionary blood, needle and scat play.

But her subconscious, marion, has different limits. She doesn't have claustrophobia, and I suspect she loves needles.

What's more, marion has said that she'll obey any instruction, regardless of the consequences. She has warned me that she is extremely literal in her obedience to commands.

This isn't to say that she wants to override e's limits. "They're important to her. i wouldn't want to hurt her emotionally, even if she could handle something physically."

But what if I gave her an order that violated one of those limits? What would marion do?

"i don't really know ... i'd try to work out a way to get around it, look carefully at Your language ... don't know if the struggle would wake her or not, though i doubt it. i might ask a question, but ... i have a hard time saying no to You."

So I suppose it's an obvious question: Whose limits are in force now?

The answer is pretty easy for me. This isn't a game of "gotcha". Marion might not enforce e's limits, but I will. Just as any dom can choose to ignore his sub's limits, and promptly lose her trust, I could ignore hers. But I'd be a fool to do so.

I asked marion what she thought of this.

"People need to respect their partners ... and the reasons they have limits. Hypnosis isn't an excuse to blow through them."


Semega said...

Agreed. Ultimately your agreement and relationship is with e. Hypno seems way up there for trust, violating those negotiated limits, could be very damaging.
I'm curious what e's take is on this? Will she renogotiate? Can she renogotiate her hard limits knowing that Marion has no limits?
Wow, so have you put all your triggers, commands instructions down in a spreadsheet? Set up special formulas to check that they don't conflict or override? LOL. It just seems to be getting denser and denser. Glad you're taking us along for the ride!

HypnoMaster D said...

Semega, every time you ask an apparently innocent question, it opens up a whole new idea to discuss. Yes, e is considering easing up on a couple of her limits -- specifically needles and confinement -- not because her subconscious doesn't share those limits but because hypno illusions have given her a chance to practice experiencing them. I guess it's a lot easier to tolerate your first needles when you know deep down that they're not there and are leaving no scars. And e has written about how I'm helping her work through her claustrophobia via hypnotic scenes.

I don't have a spreadsheet (and can't imagine how one would write a program to spot logical conflicts), but I definitely have a very long file with all the ongoing commands and triggers and most of the elaborate ones I've created for e. What impresses me is: her subconscious is keeping track of the same list, but all in her head.