Monday, April 8, 2013

The transformation

Three weeks ago, she called herself asexual. Today she masturbates at least daily. Three weeks ago, she avoided dressing well in public for fear that people would think her a slut. Today, she enjoys the looks she gets at the gym. 

Three weeks ago, she was Shannon the highly inhibited psychotherapist. Today, she is Sabrina, the therapist who makes a point of telling her clients to consider their sexual health.

Shannon, a fan of this blog for some time, had gotten in touch with me, with issues that standard therapy hadn't touched, decades of challenges to her sexual self-esteem. Her uncle had molested and belittled her at age 3. Her mother had punished her for every slight step in the direction of romance or sexual expression, whether at age 8, 12 or 17. High school boyfriends had bragged about her as a conquest. She'd made a few bad relationship choices as an adult. 

Meanwhile, just under the surface, she hid a part of herself she called Sabrina. Sabrina was all the things Shannon was not -- sexually comfortable, but also organized, efficient, brave and unashamed. Shannon wanted all those things. Could I help?

It turned out that many of my Global Suggestion methods, especially those enlisting her subconscious mind, helped to turn down the negatives and turn up the positives. 

It was a team effort. 

Sabrina helped Shannon buy sex toys. Then, when Shannon tried to use them, and her mother's voice scolded her, her subconscious showed her how to mock her mother's interruptions. Meanwhile, I was helping Shannon feel her own body again -- first with the pain of clothespins, then with a well of pleasure that I located in her lower back. She could share the energetic pleasure with others by touching them... and refill the well by touching herself with her toys.

We also discovered that she had a conscious entity on board that was repeating her dear uncle's comments in her ear. I persuaded Amanda to become her inner cheerleader instead. 

All these helped, but I was nervous. I knew that for Easter Shannon was going to spend a long weekend with her family, a set of people who routinely triggered her worst behaviors and worst thoughts about herself. I expected a setback.

But, surprise, the night before the trip, Shannon said that she was just too tired of feeling guilty and anxious all the time. What she really wanted was to take a vacation of a different sort.

"I want a place where I can rest and heal. I want a place where I don't have to be responsible for daily projects and organizing and future planning." She decided it was her turn to hibernate, preferably on a warm beach somewhere. And that Sabrina was perfectly capable of managing things.

When would she want to go? "Tonight, when I sleep. I need to say goodbye to my cat."

So now Sabrina is in charge. She checks in on Shannon from time to time, but mostly is out in the world, exploring and enjoying her new life. Her laundry is done. The house is clean. She works out reliably. Her colleagues have noticed her new energy. 

And whenever she feels out of sorts, out of balance, she pulls out her toys and re-centers herself with a good solid orgasm.